It is coming up on three years since my wife Honey took David. To say it was a most difficult time puts it mildly. But God has been with me the whole time, and he has brought wonderful people into my life to help me through it; iron to sharpen iron.
I started listening much more to the Sirius XM Christian music station “The Message” then, and one of the first songs I heard a few times and really latched on to was Matt Maher’s “Lord I Need You”:
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here, I find my rest
Without You, I fall apart
You’re the one that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour, I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
While I love this song, because of the circumstances in which I heard it, it always brings on that “sinking feeling” in the pit of my stomach: my wife has left me, and taken my son, and I don’t know why. I still don’t, three years later. She won’t talk about it. So I spend what little time with David I can, trying to bring him home–justice delayed is justice denied–and hope she will, like the prodigal son, come home. I have hoped for a positive Christian influence who would encourage her to keep our family together. Many friends have offered, but she will not hear any of them.
I see many difficulties in the world; and I have gone through some of my own, such as my mother passing away when I was nine–I am so thankful for my “step” mother (I use quotes because I hardly ever use that qualification)–but generally those are not deliberate harm done by one person to another, but sickness or accident. It is all much harder to deal with than if, for example (and may it never happen) David was taken away by sickness. I have been fortunate to know of man’s inhumanity to man mainly from history and not experience.
Continue to pray for reconciliation, and for David to be able to come home.
